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October 19, 2004
i'm feeling like a freak and that's freaking me out
Addendum (thinking about this on the train home): I'm talking about personal e-mail. I have no judgment against someone keeping e-mail mementoes. I'm just wondering that my deleting them (after a certain time has passed, not, like, the day they died) is freakish and wrong.
Over on my friend Ulrika's blog, she posted how she felt when she would come across a friends' e-mail who had passed away. She's keeping them. She asked if she was psycho for keeping them. I was the *only* one on the list who suggested she delete them as a part of the grieving process. I don't keep old e-mails (alive or dead). I also remove them from my address book/cell phone when it's time (not immediately...). I did just remove Jeff from my address book/phone cause it was creeping me out more that his name appeared whenever I sent Sue an e-mail or called her than it was having him on the list. Am I a freak? Am I that uncaring towards loved ones who have died?? It's not that I don't think about them when certain songs are played (by my initiation or the radio), or certain word or phrases are spoken, etc. But isn't that the same as actively seeking out an old e-mail?
Posted by jennj at October 19, 2004 03:50 PM
Clue-ments:
i don't save emails at all.
unless they contain reference information
(phone numbers, email adresses,
physical addresses,
notes on how to achieve a process, etc).
email is disposable.
Posted by: .hack/jhimm at October 19, 2004 05:04 PM
I think that your habits with respect to email should determine how you treat someone who has died emails. If you keep emails in general, then there is no particular reason to delete them. If you delete emails in general, then I think should feel OK about deleting them. Just be careful not to do something that you can't take back that you might feel differently about when the grieving process has progressed.
Posted by: Fritz. at October 19, 2004 05:11 PM
So I'm not the only one who doesn't keep e-mail. Whew.
Posted by: cf at October 19, 2004 08:38 PM
Re: emails - Its like any other housekeeping chore, do whatever works for you.
Re: emails (or any other reminders) from deceased loved ones - There is no right or wrong way to go through the grieving process. Possibly some things are healthier than others from a mental health standpoint. But you have to do what feels right for you. Good rule of thumb as Fritz said is be careful not to do something in haste that you'll regret later.
Posted by: Donna at October 20, 2004 11:19 AM