hmm...wonder how long i'll keep this blog...

Man, it's been ten days since I wrote anything here. I actually started a post about AIG, saved it as a draft and then never got back to it. I seem to be spending more and more time on Twitter or facebook than I do here. Lately I've been so sucked up into work, Twitter/facebook are about all the attention span I can deal with. I don't really feel like I've been reflective lately, either, which is usually where I'd find inspiration for posts. Or, I'll be reflective, but then just not post. Heh. And I sure don't have enough bandwidth to focus on the big issues. Which is pathetic because I should. I should care and know more about the financial crisis than I do. My knowledge is superficial. Or maybe I'm just getting to be uninteresting. Ha. I used to think of this place as a place where I would rant and rave about things. But now I don't feel really inspired to rant and rave.

I'm going to have a stressful year. At some point, I'll have a new boss. He/she will be inserted between me and my current boss. I've worked for my current boss for the past seven years. I've got him trained. Heh. He's a really great boss, so the new one will have a lot to live up to. So, in preparation for this change, I've been keeping an open mind, recognizing that I'll just be building a new relationship and I've done that before (and will do it again), and really, I'm glad that my boss is looking for someone with PMO startup and PM experience because that will open up a whole new avenue of mentoring that my current boss just can't do. That excites me. But there's only so much I can prepare emotionally for until it happens. And when it does, it'll suck. But hey, it's just a part of the letting go and moving on process.

Added on top of that, the current PM environment that I'm now in is a freakin' disaster and I feel like I'm back where we were with EDC when I started. So, there's a lot of work to be done this year PLUS I've got projects that need to be managed. This PM staff has a really bad reputation and I keep hearing that they've been understaffed so some things slipped through the cracks, but now there's two more of us so this should help. But then I get handed a lot of projects and I wonder, "WTF? Are you going to set me up for failure too because there's still too much to do?" (YES, I have expressed all of this to my boss - I'm not someone who doesn't speak up). Basically, I'm stressing. And with the current financial crisis, how do I balance work/life but also make sure I'm putting my best foot forward with work so I don't lose my job. No, I don't really feel like I'm going to lose my job, it's just there's so much work to do and I'm overwhelmed that it magnifies everything and I'm melodramatic in general. :-)

And I took the past year off from school and I've got to get back to it. It's really hard to work full time and then take classes. I end up not being able to see friends as much, do social things, etc. That sucks. And I sometimes feel some of my friends don't understand that.

And mix that with a good friend who will be moving to Switzerland by the end of the year, various other activities going on that will require taking time off (but they're good things) - which then adds to the work stress and how the hell am I going to get shit done, feeling disconnected from my family in L.A......well, I'm overwhelmed and really don't think about blogging much.

So there you go. :-)

Posted by jennj at March 22, 2009 12:25 PM