today freakin' sucked ass

If it could go wrong, it did. My sense of humor kinda sounded like this:

me: "Hey, Kath, my performance review is late Friday afternoon. Don't they fire people on Fridays?"

Kath: "I hear it's also a good day to go postal."

It seemed as though the universe was saying, "Hey, Jenn isn't stressed enough, let's make things crash and burn around her." An almost entire day of emergencies.

And then, right before I leave, I get told by a co-worker that a system isn't working right and so-and-so said that I told so-and-so to not have the system do such-and-such. Bottom line: I didn't do or say anything of the sort and this so-and-so lied and blamed me. So, now I get to confront so-and-so tomorrow and find out if a) they really said this and b) if they did, why.

But no, I'm not done yet. As I drive out of the commuter rail parking lot to head home, this eight-year old brat sitting in the back of a station wagon in front of me, flips me off. Yeah, kid. Right back 'atcha.

So I did what any sane woman would do. Retail therapy. I now own a pink leather watch (my old one died a pretty spectacular death last week on the subway....).

Posted by jennj at 09:50 PM | Comments (4)

nanu nanu

Behind The Camera: Mork & Mindy, The Unauthorized Story. *giggle* This has train wreck written all over it.

Posted by jennj at 04:27 PM | Comments (4)

stressed

It's official. Cinnamon is no longer strong enough to jump up on the bed and cuddle with us. He just can't do it anymore. He tries and his little head pokes up to look at us, but he just doesn't have the strength to get up on the bed.

It still doesn't feel like it's time, tho. It feels like it's close, but not there yet. It still stresses me out.

Posted by jennj at 10:56 AM | Comments (2)

don't worry

I'm not going to write one way or the other on the Schiavo case. I feel bad for everyone and every side.

What I do want to say is something to the parents. I hope that when you're through some of your grief and your anger and you decide you want to setup some sort of "Terry Schiavo Foundation", that you do the right thing when you set it up. Don't make it a legal defense fund for "others in our situation". Don't make it a political action committee to get laws changed so that spouses can't make this decision unless there's a living will.

Focus it on what got you, Terry and her husband here in the first place: anorexia. Cause in the end, wouldn't you have rather had your daughter fully functional, raising kids and productive?

Thank you.

Posted by jennj at 09:23 AM | Comments (8)

happy easter

Not a holiday I celebrate. But for my friends who do, I hope you have a great holiday.

Posted by jennj at 09:02 AM | Comments (2)

shrink wrapped

Well, I started a weight loss blog. I call it shrink wrapped. I'm supposed to shrink as my body loses the weight, get it? The wrapped part...whatever. It sounded cute. I am using blogger for it cause I'm too lazy to create another movable type blog. So, if you're interested in my progress and inane thoughts (as opposed to the inane thoughts here), click on the link to the right that says "shrink" under "allaboutme". And, if you're starting your own journey into getting healthy, losing weight, whatever, I can setup guest bloggers and you could post your stuff too. Lemme know. There's some cleanup to do on the new site with regards to the right pane, but I've got to get back to the microeconomics mid-term. Cheers.

Posted by jennj at 12:07 PM | Comments (3)

still here

I'm still blogging. Sides, I've got a wicked funny story to tell once I get one more detail cleared up later this weekend. Truth is stranger than fiction. Stay tuned.

Posted by jennj at 06:55 PM | Comments (0)

all better now

Comments should be working now...thanks for your patience. All eight of you. ;-)

Posted by jennj at 06:14 PM | Comments (0)

technical problems

Apparently my comment script isn't working right. I'm working on it. Stay tuned.

Update: I won't be able to fix this until later tonight when I get home.

Posted by jennj at 01:02 PM | Comments (0)

wow

After my previous post, almost immediately I found out something that I'm not even sure I know how to explain (actually, I'm not gonna even if I could), that a friend included me in, that is powerful and profound. If they read this, I hope they don't feel any pressure. When you put yourself out there, the universe responds*.

*Contents of this message may seem vague. YMMV. Take with a glass of milk to minimize upsetting your stomach. Do not feed the animals. May the force be with you.

Posted by jennj at 11:41 AM | Comments (0)

feeling distant and out of touch

If I haven't talked to/seen you recently it doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. It means: mid-terms. life in general. going through some mental review/reflection.

One of the things that is weighing on my mind is this blog. I may need to stop for awhile and focus on some other stuff. So, for the eight of you that read this, be prepared.

I'm re-commiting to taking care of my body. I've gained *mumble* pounds in the past two years (I *did* have a back injury skiing two years ago...and that put me out of commission for four months) and I need to lose it (and more). So, I've joined ediets again (and I've got one friend who is joining it too!). When I was doing it, it worked. It's not like I eat unhealthy food. I haven't had fast food in like, four years. I eat mostly organic. We cook more than we eat out. With the "Adopt a vegetable a year" program I started many years ago, I've added quite the repertoire of veggies to my diet. Etc. It's portion control and I have to get my body moving again. So, with that in mind, I may be isolating myself a little more while I get back into the swing of things with my eating patterns cause I don't want to derail things right at the onset. I may start a blog about it, like other friends of mine have before. Yes, that completely contradicts what I stated earlier in this post about giving up blogging. I've never ever said I'm consistent.

I love my boss. He scheduled my performance review on April Fool's Day. *snort*

I also will not be doing anything for my birthday this year (well, nbh and I may go out to dinner). I think. I don't know. I don't even know what I want as a gift. Got any suggestions? :-)

In the meantime:
"Things do not change; we change."
Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862), Walden (1970)

Posted by jennj at 10:49 AM | Comments (2)

10 quid

co-worker calls me: "Hey, Jenn. I'm so f*cking bored."

me: "So, like, who at this company would you pay 10 quid to see naked?"

co-worker: "Let's see..."

me interrupting: "We played this game at my old company, right after we saw The Full Monty, and we couldn't even come up with a top five. We got *four*. FOUR on a campus with 1,000 people."

co-worker: "How bout...?"

We ended the telephone conversation with a list of *three*. THREE.

Posted by jennj at 03:24 PM | Comments (9)

it's sad

I work with some really great people. Yet, they work for some really bad managers. There's an exodus coming within a certain organization here. And that means, selfishly for me, that I won't be working with some good people soon. And that makes me sad. But, I'm a big believer in taking care of ones self when it comes to "the job". We spend far too much time at "the job" to be miserable. You gotta take care of yourself. As I always say: All companies are dysfunctional. The trick is to find a company whose dysfunctionality you can get along with.

Posted by jennj at 10:20 AM | Comments (2)

you only need one

Spamalot was funny and silly. Thanks to Elke for suggesting we go.

Celebrity sightings in audience: Kevin Nealon, Charlie Rose
Autographs Jenn got: David Hyde Pierce, Hank Azaria

I've had many opportunities to get autographs from various celebs. I've never done it before. I blame Bridget. And the margaritas. I must say, David Hyde Pierce has never been someone I've thought of as hot. Too gangly. But in person? Holy shit, dudes. He's *hot*.

We spent Saturday afternoon at the Brooklyn Museum of Art. It's a beautiful building and has a good collection of Egyptian art. Deb managed to join us for that part of the day and it was great seeing her.

And, as usual, at Zarela's I tried to drink a second margarita when I knew better: you only need one. Why, oh why, do I order that second one? I never finish it cause I'm too lit from the first. Grr.

Anyway, non-blogging husband and I left around 2pmish on Sunday (after breakfast at the fab Williamsburg Cafe with nbh's bro and girlfriend). Got home and vegged out for the evening. All in all, another successful trip to NYC.

Posted by jennj at 10:03 AM | Comments (0)

bright, shiny objects

LED Underwear for the ladies.

Update: And to go with it, chewing gum can enhance breasts.

Posted by jennj at 04:00 PM | Comments (0)

yeesh

Someone at work today didn't like the answer I gave them, so they went to my boss. Who told them exactly what I said. Hello. Who do you think I ran the answer by before responding to you?

Anyway, won't be posting for a few days probably. We're heading down to Brooklyn tomorrow to spend the weekend in NYC. We will be going to see Spamalot with friends down there (there's like, eight of us). And we're going to Zarela's which has awesome margaritas. And it's always nice to see the non-blogging husband's bro, who we'll be staying with in Brooklyn.

Posted by jennj at 06:39 PM | Comments (0)

obli di, obli da

They were having this whole day long "Summit" presenting all sorts of interesting information about submitting drug applications to the FDA and worldwide regulatory agencies. Anyway, there were some 30 minute sessions I wanted to attend in the afternoon and I decided that the only way I was going to remember was to put a reminder in my calendar. Well, up pops the reminder and it says "Submission". I didn't put something like "go to meeting" or "esub". No, I apparently put in "Submission". Yup. I'm a corporate bitch.

In other news, I was in the Whole Foods grocery store parking lot and a Hummer(tm) parks. HAHAHAHA. Now, I'm not saying that Hummer(tm) drivers can't eat organic. I am saying that it seemed obscenely out of character. Which reminds me that I still have to get that picture a co-worker took of a Hummer parked next to our Hybrid....

Posted by jennj at 07:37 PM | Comments (4)

i knew this would happen

I've been circumspect following the Jackson molestation trial. Being a survivor of child sexual abuse, I believe you have to listen to children when they tell you, however, I also think that false accusations are wrong, too. Do not doubt it: this is a thorny issue, no matter who the alleged abuser is. I don't know if he's guilty or not. If he is, I wouldn't be surprised. If he isn't, then that's going to set back progress that has been made to help raise awareness and support for victims of child sexual abuse. And that will piss me off.

This is a long post. Also, I've been weighing whether to turn off comments or not. This post isn't about Jackson's guilt/no guilt. I don't want to debate about false accusations. You don't know if they are yet. I don't want to debate about whether informing the public about child sexual abuse is a journalistic responsibility or not. This isn't up for debate. I'm not posting this as a sounding board item. This is a soapbox. I trust you know the difference.

But I knew the following would happen.

"Why would you deny when someone asked you if you had been abused by him?" "Why didn't you tell anyone?" Nowhere in the news reports are there experts talking about the fact that kids not telling anyone or denying when directly asked happens all the time. I did it. Someone I love and respect (fos-mom) asked me when I was 17. I told her no. I lied to someone who had a profound influence in my life. Actually, if you think about it, I "lied" to all friends and family until I finally told someone at the age of 21 and got into therapy.

Why deny? Shame. Shame. Shame.

Getting back to the news reports. Tons of news reports when dealing with lawsuits have quotes from experts saying "the strategy would be" or "when you do blah blah, then typically that means blah blah".

I'm not seeing anything in the mainstream media that is educating people as to what a victim can go through and the fucked up behaviors that they show that make sense to no one. And that pisses me off too.

Looking at CNN's Special Report: Jackson Trial there is nothing informing the public about child sexual abuse. Nothing. Jeebus, there's a "celebrities and the law" photo gallery. How fucking trivial is that? Journalists/news agencies want to represent the public and they're supposed to inform, etc. If you are, then where's your responsibility to inform the public about this issue? Huh? I think I'm going to write them a letter.

------------
To cnn.com website
Dear Sir/Madam,

I'm wondering something. With the Michael Jackson trial, you, as responsible journalists, have an opportunity to educate the public on a sensitive issue. Child sexual abuse. There are many people out there who are victims right now and aren't speaking up, are survivors and need to be understood.

And yet, nothing in your news reports even mentions any expert weighing in on why a child would deny to a school teacher that they weren't molested. Or the shame. Or even where to go for help. Or find others who understand what you're going through.

In your Michael Jackson Trial Special Report section on your cnn.com website, you have NO area on there that informs the public on child sexual abuse.

You've got "Celebrities and the law", you've got Jackson's official website. But nothing to support websites or informational websites about the subject of child sexual abuse.

And that's a shame.

Jennifer *removed*

Posted by jennj at 03:55 PM | Comments (15)

oh, and

While walking towards the bathroom yesterday at work, I overheard someone in their cubicle say: "Yeah, sometimes it takes awhile for a person to penetrate." *blink*

Oh, and we've been watching Deadwood - watched first season on netflix and since we have HBO we're watching the second season now. It took awhile for me to get into it, but I like it. Cocksuckers (joke only Deadwood watchers will get).

Posted by jennj at 02:05 PM | Comments (6)

seen any good movies lately?

I've been feeling like there's been no good movies released for months now. There's a lot of crap out there. We haven't been to the movie theatre in two months, I think.

I mean, Million Dollar Baby is the only movie that has been recommended to me in months and I'm not really that excited to see it. And no foreign/international films have been recommended to me either.

This is ruining my marriage (kidding). Instead of dinner and then a movie where we can sit not talking to each other for two whole, blissful hours, we now have to find something interactive to do. My god, *talk* to each other? Play scrabble or something? That's a lot of pressure (more kidding). Granted, we've watched many things on netflix. But it's just not the same as going out to the theatre.

Now, there are some films coming out soon that I *am* excited about: Sin City, Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, Batman Begins (christian bale..drool), Serenity (nathan fillion..drool). So, any recommendations?

Posted by jennj at 01:45 PM | Comments (6)

silence is golden

While riding down the elevator at lunchtime two other women were on it. Conversation between them:

w1: "I don't know why I'm in a bad mood today. I'm feeling foul. Am I a bitch?"

w2: *prolonged silence until they got off the elevator*

BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

In other news, Apple won a lawsuit against three bloggers to give the names of the people who leaked upcoming product information. Here's the telling sentence, tho: "A lawyer for the three bloggers said the ruling set a dangerous precedent that could harm all news reporters." Yikes. I blog, does that make me a "news reporter"? BWAHAHAHAHAHA. Our intrepid reporter, with lousy grammar, goes out into the world to conquer and get to the root of all things mentally fluffy. I think maybe it's time to differentiate between a fluff blogger like me and a *real* news blogger out there. They serve a very important purpose and to lump a blog like mine into the same category as Daily Kos or others is insulting to THEM. Or, maybe I should call this a journal? Flogger? *snort* Uh, no.

Anyway, I'm glad they have to reveal who leaked that stuff to them. If you believe in protecting intellectual property (writers, musicians, etc.) then all intellectual property needs to be protected. That includes corporations. On the other hand, if the three bloggers are considered news journalists, then we've got freedom of the press being squashed. I'm glad I'm not a lawyer. My head hurts.

Update: Holy shit, dudes. In court filings the company argued that the Web sites were not protected by free speech because they are not legitimate members of the press. Er, what about regular, old, vanilla freedom of speech? Aren't they protected by that?

Posted by jennj at 01:29 PM | Comments (10)

down for the count

I've been dealing with a nasty cold since Thursday. Woke up Thursday morning feeling like ass. Left work around 4pmish. The cold started to get worse thursday evening and friday, well, no work for me and I ended up sleeping all day. Today is the first day I've been feeling human. I hate being sick. It means I have no funny stories to tell. Unless you want to hear about snotty tissues?

Posted by jennj at 12:40 PM | Comments (1)

rubber ducky

While paying half attention to my economics online chat right now, I surfed around and found these: Happy Hour body wash and bubble bath. I like the thought of taking a bath using the Senorita Margarita while drinking one...ahhh...

Oh, and look at this pretty flower patterned cell phone...

And a bath tubthat looks like it'll be heaven to use....

And this ear vacuum cleaner is just wrong.....

Posted by jennj at 07:40 PM | Comments (2)

work-life balance

That elusive balance between working and having a life. I struggle with it constantly. I'm a workaholic if I let myself be one. It's easy to slip into it. Especially when you love what you do (although lately, that's up for debate). But, having a life is more important.

So, I'm back again at leaving work at 4:30 (even set an alarm on my calendar). Drop what I'm doing (unless I need to finish a sentence on an e-mail or it's truly an emergency) and leave. Just freakin' leave. I hope this lasts longer than the other attempts. However, it's probably like most things in life: cyclic.

Posted by jennj at 06:45 PM | Comments (0)

cruelest legislation ever

The rude pundit isn't actually as rude as he usually is about things, but it's time to write your congresscritter.

I'm not a big fan of bankruptcy. I think some people are stupid and get themselves into trouble when they could have prevented it. And while I used to be almost that stupid with my credit card and have since seen the light since my mid-twenties, there are circumstances where people have to file. I have friends who have. Some of them I grit my teeth and don't say anything (it was stupid and could have been prevented) and some of them it was through some really crappy misfortune. Really crappy.

That aside, credit card companies are not some sort of "sad, ailing industry" that needs their own protection. They prey on everyone. Hell, even if you didn't want to have a credit card, you *still* have to deal with credit ratings that *look* to see if you have one and you have to sometimes explain why you don't own a credit card. Say, when applying for a mortgage or car loan.

Well, screw you, credit card companies. Boo hoo. And, if this passes, it just continues the cycle: the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

Posted by jennj at 08:14 AM | Comments (13)

i love technology

The cover would stop light from scattering by resonating at the same frequency as the light striking it. If such a device could cope with different wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation (including visible light), in theory, the object would vanish into thin air.

Posted by jennj at 10:57 AM | Comments (3)

can't resist it

Pepper has taken to crawling under the covers on our bed. She didn't do it before, but she's thinner, older and is therefore cold more often than not.

We discovered if you touch the blanket where she's lying under she coos. It's the cutest freakin' thing on the planet. So, now, we CANNOT stop ourselves from doing that anytime we pass by the bedroom upstairs. We must have the cooing. Ghu help us.

Cinnamon, on the other hand, is just...well, we wouldn't have been surprised if we had come home from our vaca and he had passed on. *sigh* He keeps getting food stuck all over his face as he just buries it into the wet cat food as he eats. Then, we have to shampoo his face, cause otherwise it gets crusty. But is it time? No. Doesn't feel like it.

Posted by jennj at 07:00 AM | Comments (3)

catching up on homework

Hey, while on vaca I read Beggars in Spain by Nancy Kress. It’s good. I’ve ordered the other two in the trilogy.

Anyway.

Clue Fairy’s Rule: When making a rule, it should be contained to one sentence.

For example,
“No Poofdah’s”
“2 Drink Minimum”
“Women well-larded should not go leo-tarded”

I’ve come across rules in my microeconomics class that are one paragraph containing three sentences. A paragraph. Jeebus.

However, I now have an even deeper understanding of the old Bloom Country strip where poor Binkley is trying to get to sleep but is being plagued by monsters in his room: “And now, two economists will discuss the economy!”

Posted by jennj at 04:45 PM | Comments (6)

everybody's doin' it

Before I left, I was ignoring the meme. I decided that if one more of my limited circle of friends did the meme, that I would do it. They did, but I had no time to post before I left. Jumping off the cliff:

10 Things I've Done That You Probably Haven't

1. Won a swing dance contest
2. Danced with michael dorn (worf on st:tng – no, he was not in costume, yeesh)
3. Rode a segway at the office of the guy who did the hardware and electronics for it
4. Delivered a speech at a ‘computer convergence’ event about the history of female astronauts
5. Had lunch and conversed with robert and ginny heinlein at larry niven’s house
6. Held a real “the gong show” prize that a family friend won (This guy did impersonations and I thought he was Groucho Marx until I was five)
7. Saved a 15-year-old girl from running away from home with a 34-year-old man she met on the internet
8. Skied the Hahnenkamm piste in Kitzbuhel (this is the run the skiers in the world ski cup tour start on every year – no, it was not in competition, it’s just a normal run when the tour is not there)
9. Got a personal tour of the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center by a particle physicist
10. Modeled in a twin contest (we were four years old...)

Posted by jennj at 08:57 AM | Comments (14)

bonjour

We're back. So sad.

Short trip report, more later:
French Riviera? Meh. Happy we didn't spend a lot of time there.
Provence? Oui. Tres magnifique.
Millau Viaduct? Tres cool.

et table du fromage...et chaise du fromage...

Posted by jennj at 08:52 AM | Comments (5)